049 - Summer Shopping

I really like this list. Not only is it on a REALLY diddy piece of paper, it's os evidently from one of our lovely summer days. Pork pie, cheese, crisps, quiche and little gem lettuce was always our family's staple summer Saturday lunch - a light salad thing (but this list sadly lacking pickled onions). Still, it's nice to see someone tailoring their shopping to the weather.

048 - Smell Pasta

It doesn't look like "small pasta" - but even if it was, I wouldn't know what that is either. Still, at least they've bought one of my favourite convenience foods - fish fingers and frozen chips. Mmmmm! I also regard their bread purchasing in high regard -"w b and pitta" can be deciphered as "white, brown and pitta". I bet you couldn't work that out.

047 - 40 Fags

40 fags. 40 FAGS. Even though I'm not a smoker, I couldn't imagine being one and not realising that I need to buy the death sticks to satisfy my addiction. Annoyingly, this person is also lacking the one grammatical skill that I hold higher than all others: the ability to use apostrophes correctly. Grrrrr.

046 - Rubber Gloves

Although not emergency rubber gloves, the use of a red pen to write "rubber gloves" on this list is something that I find incredibly amusing. Its position next to "chicken / broccoli" reminds me of a TV program called Band of Gold where a chicken farmer wore rubber gloves every time he had sex. Maybe the shopper is the same?

045 - Emergency Gin

My newly-adopted term for items written in a different coloru pen to other things on the list is "emergency items". Not content with the wine already on their list, this shopper therefore needs emergency gin (note the blue pen). They must have had a horrendous day at work...the Centre for Mental Health Services Development, England (or CMHSDE for short).

044 - Thought They'd Thought of Everything

Although this shopper was so organised as to list their items on a computer, they hadn't remembered everything - "cleaner" and "cotton buds" are added in blue ink as emergency items. Another funny thing about this list is that they either want to buy "mum", or the items below this are for their mum. I favour the second option, as nobody in their right mind would list 5 loaves of bread and then a further 2 loaves, as this would be a complete waste of space.

043 - Scribblicious!

This is barely legible due to over-exertion at the "have bought everything on the list" stage. I can see, however, that they bought 7 grapefruit and needed to post Joan's letter. What a fun trip!

042 - Calories!

Struth. I know I'm not the healthiest person in the world, but at least I dont' stock up on quite as many calories as this fat chuffer. Fizzy drinks, cheese galore, chocolate trifles, chips, mayonaise... The healthiest things I can find on here is Muller Fruit Corners, and even that's not real fruit. I wish their heart all the luck in the world.

041 - Ring Mum

Awwww. Here's someone, evidently a bachelor, who needs to make a note to ring his mum. How sweet of him! He does, however, also need reminding to iron. I find this a little worrying, as when I lived on my own I never bothered. Mummy's boy.

120 - Fredrick's Hotel Restaurant Spa

Another Waitrose list, this one again conforms to the streotype. Written on headed notepaper from a 5-star hotel, the shopper includes such items as "squid", "coco butter" and "halloumi". Yet, in amongst all this frivolity lies that pesky "Marmite" yet again. Damn Marmite and its yeasty goodness!