Monday, May 23, 2005

040 - Pompadue

Another shopper who has an interesting way of spelling. This time they struggle with "cuccoumber" and "lettus" from the salad section, "pezza" and "sausouge" from chilled food, and have some random stuff called "pompadeu" on the list. And I thought that was a French policeman...

039 - Viva Espagna

Heyhey! A wonderful list to expand the multi-cultural section fo the site, here's one from Spain. Not really of course (it's from Sainsbury's) but it's written in Spanish. My own Espagnol is a little rusty, though, so I've not got much beyond Bananos. I think this is Spanish for bananas. Can anyone confirm? UPDATE: it appears that someone can! Audrey has emailed to say that she ran "bananos" through altavista and 'it stated that the translation to English is "banana trees". Not sure why someone would need two of them though.' Damn sure!

038 - Waitrose (Obviously)

This list was obtained from Waitrose. Have a read of it. You could have guessed where it was from. I needed to do a Google search to find out what the hell "helda beans" were. Apparently it's a posh name for "flat beans". What's just so brilliant about this list, though, is that the shopper will only take "Helda beans (or nothing)"! I mean, will runner beans not do? Even says there's no difference.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

037 - Posh Paper

Very fancy paper, this. It's like the stuff that Habitat wrap your glasses in. I think that's quite posh, at least. But that's about as posh as this person gets. While they try to convince us that they only eat the finest foods (it's an interesting ingredient list, this) the giveaway that this shopper is actually useless in the kitchen is found in them wanting to buy a teaspoon of lemon juice from a supermarket. Sorry mate, but no.

036 - Courgette x 2

Two courgettes? TWO courgettes? I struggle with one.

035 - For All Your Shopping Needs

Here's a mystery. It would appear that Douglas and Gordon are a company specialising in "all your shopping needs". Why the hell, then, is someone with their notepad shopping at Tesco? I can only deduce that Douglas and Gordon are shite at sorting "all your shopping needs". Maybe it should read "For all your shopping needs, except loo rolls, loo cleaner and few other things. Like fruit and veg." Losers. UPDATE: list #191 is written on the same pad of paper!

034 - Anything Thomas

Anything Thomas. It sounds like the name of a kids' book. Anything Thomas. I'm guessing that Thomas is happy to have anything, whereas Alison is specific: Capri Suns here, please! I like the couble exclamation mark after (Pads!!) for eye make up remover. What else are they going to use? Wire wool?

033 - Micro Meals and Sunday Lunch

There's a few good ones on here. I'm not sure what Astrel Cream is. It sounds like either something for haemorrhoids, or milk produce destined for outer space. I'm a particular fan of the presence of Micro Meals and Sunday Lunch being next to eat other. Is this shopper wanting a ready-meal Sunday Lunch to pop in the microwave, or are they both an expert in the kitchen to be able to prepare Sunday lunch, but also a lazy arse who microwaves stuff the rest of the week?

032 - Nappy Wrapper

Not only a meal planner (see the bottom of the list), this shopper is also frantic. Disorganised scribble is the order of the day on this list, and the presence of an underlined "nappy wrapper" in a different coloured pen to the rest would suggest that a crisis has just emerged. Quite literally...

031 - Sauerkraut!

Wow! Someone is actually planning to make Sauerkraut! They must stink! It's quite sweet that they felt the need to put the recipe on the list.

030 - "NUTS"

Another well-arranged list, by category. I can only presume that the titles of the sections are: "fruit and veg", "toilettries", "household", "frozen" and "crap". The latter I deduce as it features popcorn, cordial and "NUTS". Why nuts deserve inverted commas and capital letters, I'm not sure.

Thursday, May 05, 2005

029 - Krispy Kreme Galore

Wow! Here's a list to beat all others: a shopping list specifically for Krispy Kreme Doughnuts! A store has just opened up the road, and this list was found on the opening day. What's so brilliant about this list (other than it featuring practically all their flavours) is that they have increased "Chocolate Iced Kreme" from 2 items to 3 using green felt tip pen. Now, THAT is special.

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

028 - Meal Planner

Now, I don't know about you, but I never know what I fancy eating for dinner until I'm starting to get it ready, let alone what I'm going to eat tomorrow. This person is scarily efficient, planning up a week's worth of shopping to fit in with their week's meals. Perhaps they're just amazingly logical - a good skill in an "Information Technology Enabler" as the headed notepaper would suggest. Enabler, though? Does that mean they turn it on?

027 - I Love You Morgy

This is one confused shopper. They begin by trying to list their items using commas, then get confused and revert to a normal list - but with commas at the end of each line. Perhaps, though, they are just being a bit dappy because they love "Morgy". Parents who call their children names like that need a stern talking to. I mean, what kind of a name is Morgy? Still, at least I now know the name of one of the shoppers in my collection. Morgy. There! It's growing on me now. Morgy. A nice name.

026 - Multiple Thank Yous

This shopper is evidently needing to say thank you to lots of people - as signified by the plural "cards" they are buying. I've been rackign my brain to work out how the other items on the list are connected to whatever they're saying thank you for, but I'm baffled. Answers on a postcard...

Monday, May 02, 2005

025 - Lots o' Dots

Short and sweet, but what the hell is with those bullet points? It's not a bloody PowerPoint presentation.

024 - Gotta Keep Clean

Here's a person who loves to keep clean - they like their house to be clean (there's 10 separate items that I would deem to aid household cleanliness) as well as themselves: deodorant and toilet rolls. In addition to this, the conscientious shopper wrote their list on the back of an old envelope to save on rubbish (Mark emailed to suggest it's the back of a Lloyds TSB statement envelope). They didn't dispose of the list properly though, did they? No! They left it in the trolley, like a careless and lazy person. Cor, it's lucky I found it!